One thing a lot of you guys may not know about me, mainly because I have never mentioned it, is the fact that I can be extremely introverted. In most cases, especially when meeting people for the first time, I can be very shy and reserved. Do I have some extroverted tendencies? Sure, I guess you can say that! But honestly, I don’t think that’s the case. Rather, I truly believe that I have learned to deal with being an introvert. Growing up, I was pretty much an only child. My parents divorced when I was four years old, and yeah, I eventually had step siblings, as well as Hannah being born when I was 10, but for the most part of my early childhood, I remember being alone. Well – not alone, I had my dolls and stuffed animals – lol. And for anyone who was an only child as well, then you know exactly what I mean by that! Since I was an only child, I didn’t have to fight for my parents attention because all of the attention was always on me. I was used to being by myself. So when I when I started grade school, I didn’t really understand the concept of reaching out for attention. I was never the class clown and was always more reserved. Growing up, every single one of my best friends were extremely extroverted and I kind of just used their extroverted personalities to get me through. Fast forward 20+ years and I quickly learned that hiding behind others was doing nothing but holding me back. I saw where the introverted side of me kept me from doing things I wish I would have pursued and that in order to go where I wanted to in life, I had to learn to put myself out there.
Also! I don’t want you guys to think that I am in any way shape or form embarrassed at being an introvert nor think of it as a bad thing. In most cases, I love it! Because of it, I am extremely in tuned with my thoughts and my emotions. Which is probably why I love writing for this blog as much as I do. I’m very independent, I do not need constant reassurance from others and rely on myself to solve problems. Another benefit, at least I think, is that it is more important to me to have a close circle of friends as opposed to a vast amount of acquaintances. It’s more important to really get to know someone and their background as opposed to just their name.
Some people (like Colton) feed off the energy of others, but still to this day, I love being alone and am a huge home body. Big crowds can super over whelm me and I would way rather sit at a back yard cook out as opposed to going to the bars. I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes my mind just literally doesn’t have enough energy to be around people.
I know this may come off as a surprise to some of you all who know me well, but it’s the truth. Because the thing is, I really can be outgoing and if I feel comfortable, I will talk your ear off! It just may take me a little bit of time to get there. I also love to dance and go out with my girlfriends. It’s just where some people like to do that every weekend, I can only handle doing it maybe once every few months.
So as much as I love being an Introvert, the world doesn’t exactly support it. I know there are certain things I have had to overcome and that there are certain situations where I am expected to be social and expected to put myself out there in order to succeed.
So if you’re fellow Introvert – listen up. Here are my tips for surviving this extroverted world we live in.
Get comfortable at being uncomfortable: The first time I heard this advice was through my favorite blogger, Lauryn Evarts of The Skinny Confidential and it couldn’t be more true. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, in order to succeed, you have to get comfortable at being uncomfortable. This basically means that if you can be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, you’ll be prepared to handle whatever situation comes along in your own life. To work on this, I have practiced putting myself in smaller situations that make me uncomfortable and then work my way up to bigger situations.
Learn to smile: Smiling makes the world go round and makes you appear more approachable, social, and upbeat. Even if you’re not feeling like the most social or approachable person in the room, if you have a smile on your face and appear warm, your chances are much greater.
Find the other single outliers: If you walk into an event by yourself, nervous because you may not know anyone, there is a pretty good chance there is someone else in the room who doesn’t know anyone either. Find that person and become their friend. When I begin conversations with strangers, I have two “go-to” conversation starters. First, I give them a (genuine) compliment. Whether it be on their dress, shoes, hair or whatever! Then I follow the compliment by asking them what brings them to the event &/or who they know there!
Learn what over stimulates you: For me, it’s loud noisy environments where I cannot hear myself think. It’s people interrupting my schedule (which is very important to me) and it is also replying to people on social media ironically enough. Once you can identify what over stimulates you, try and narrow those situations down to a minimum. Especially if you know you will be in an upcoming situation where you are supposed to be “on”.
Pick & Choose: Instead of over loading your schedule with happy hours, events and meetings, pick and choose which ones will be the most beneficial for you. Which ones you will excel at and give you the best outcome. Which ones will over stimulate you and which ones you think you will flourish in.
Find time to recharge: Recharging and my alone time is the most important part of my day. In order for me to succeed and be outgoing, I have to recharge. Whether it’s taking a bath, going on a run, or watching a tv show in my room by myself (sorry Colton) alone time is very important to me. I live for it and require it.
Realize that people don’t actually care about you: This may seem more like a confidence issue, but I figured I would include it anyways. For the longest time, I thought that when I walked into a room, that all eyes would be on me. That the moment I would walk in, strangers would be picking me apart and making their judgments. When in reality, nobody actually notices you walking in and no one actually cares to sit there and judge you. Think about it. When have you ever been at an event, talking to a friend and then stop mid conversation to watch the one person who walks into the event alone. The answer is never. For the most part, people don’t and are always open to meet someone knew.
Are there any fellow introverts out there?! Please tell me ya’ll can relate to this lol!
BTW – Fun Fact About This Outfit! This is one of the dresses I wore in our engagement photos 🙂
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